Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Am I unlovable?
Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used,
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would,
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication,
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you.
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth,
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few ,
Stages of acceptance that it's really over,
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you.
You make me feel like my father never loved me,
You make me feel like the act of love is empty.
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough,
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart.
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park,
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog.
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything,
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then,
For just a moment I romanticised the notion,
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did.
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me),
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty).
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me),
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty).
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?
You make me feel like my father never loved me,
You make me feel like the act of love is empty.
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me),
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty).
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me),
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty).
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me),
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me),
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me),
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me).
Unlovable by Darren Hayes there. I was just walking home from the charity shop today and this song came on my iPod. It reminded me of someone and I instantly felt the need to chronicle this. This is an awesome song, even if it does make me cry.
Peace and love to all. xxxx
Thursday 28 October 2010
Wednesday 27 October 2010
The Part
I was sitting at home earlier today watching some crap on telly (as usual) when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, an old man walking up to my front door. I had to double-take because I could have sworn it was Wallace, the director at my am dram group. Then as he walked away I was able to confirm that it was him and he had posted something through my door. I excitedly ripped open the envelope to reveal a cast list for the upcoming panto. I looked up and down the list before eventually finding my name hidden amongst 20 or so other names in the "random villagers and merry men" section. Oh well, you can't win 'em all (I just hope they're not expecting too much). I'm not gonna pretend I'm not a tiny bit disappointed that I don't get to be the centre of attention this time, but that's show business.
As you can probably tell by now, I don't have a fantastically exciting life. That being said, I'll only be recording my thoughts here when anything particularly interesting happens, otherwise there'll be hundreds of entries saying, "I sat at home today watching crap on TV." Therefore, I may not be writing anything for a while as I don't expect anything exciting to be happening any time soon.
So, until next time, tatty bye! x
As you can probably tell by now, I don't have a fantastically exciting life. That being said, I'll only be recording my thoughts here when anything particularly interesting happens, otherwise there'll be hundreds of entries saying, "I sat at home today watching crap on TV." Therefore, I may not be writing anything for a while as I don't expect anything exciting to be happening any time soon.
So, until next time, tatty bye! x
Sunday 24 October 2010
Oh No You Didn't!...
...Oh yes I did! T'would seem panto season is nearly upon us!
Today was spent mainly waiting. I hate it when you have nothing to do until late afternoon but wait for something exciting to happen. Today (or, as I've left it 'til the early hours of the morning to write this, yesterday) that exciting thing was my audition. I've only done one small play with this company and I've never done a panto before so I didn't know what to expect.
One thing I was expecting was a group of people whom I worked with on Hobson's Choice to greet me with open arms and kind words... I was somewhat disappointed. There were 30-odd people there and I only knew two of them (and one wasn't even auditioning). If I do get a part, I don't know how I'll cope. These guys were all teenagers with one or two grown-ups thrown in for good measure... I've never really gotten on with teenagers.
Part one of the audition was an impromptu dance piece. Needless to say, it did not go well. I have three left feet, I lack the energy and coordination for the dance steps that Mr. Thorpe was expecting from us and I felt myself getting quite dizzy on stage (as I often do when I get too hot). Not to mention that my back is killing me after all that.
We were then able to take a break from "dancing" to take part in the singing portion of the audition process. Surprisingly, I didn't suck as bad as I thought I would. I sang my little heart out and no-one's ears started to bleed, so I took that as a good sign.
Part three was the bit I was looking forward to. The reading section of the audition, where we all read from various scenes in the script having a go at all the different characters and experimenting with voices and the like. I gave an evil Sheriff, a slow stuttering Little John and a West Country Friar Tuck. Not to mention my Will Scarlet that came out sounding a bit too much like Will Mossop.
All in all it was a good day. I should hear back by next Sunday and I'll let you all (whoever you are) know who I'll be portraying (let's just hope it's someone that doesn't have to exert himself too much).
Anywho, I think sleep is probably on the cards for now, so I'll just say, "Ciao for now!" xx
Today was spent mainly waiting. I hate it when you have nothing to do until late afternoon but wait for something exciting to happen. Today (or, as I've left it 'til the early hours of the morning to write this, yesterday) that exciting thing was my audition. I've only done one small play with this company and I've never done a panto before so I didn't know what to expect.
One thing I was expecting was a group of people whom I worked with on Hobson's Choice to greet me with open arms and kind words... I was somewhat disappointed. There were 30-odd people there and I only knew two of them (and one wasn't even auditioning). If I do get a part, I don't know how I'll cope. These guys were all teenagers with one or two grown-ups thrown in for good measure... I've never really gotten on with teenagers.
Part one of the audition was an impromptu dance piece. Needless to say, it did not go well. I have three left feet, I lack the energy and coordination for the dance steps that Mr. Thorpe was expecting from us and I felt myself getting quite dizzy on stage (as I often do when I get too hot). Not to mention that my back is killing me after all that.
We were then able to take a break from "dancing" to take part in the singing portion of the audition process. Surprisingly, I didn't suck as bad as I thought I would. I sang my little heart out and no-one's ears started to bleed, so I took that as a good sign.
Part three was the bit I was looking forward to. The reading section of the audition, where we all read from various scenes in the script having a go at all the different characters and experimenting with voices and the like. I gave an evil Sheriff, a slow stuttering Little John and a West Country Friar Tuck. Not to mention my Will Scarlet that came out sounding a bit too much like Will Mossop.
All in all it was a good day. I should hear back by next Sunday and I'll let you all (whoever you are) know who I'll be portraying (let's just hope it's someone that doesn't have to exert himself too much).
Anywho, I think sleep is probably on the cards for now, so I'll just say, "Ciao for now!" xx
The First of Many...
So... a friend of mine once told me, "If you have immense levels of boredom, start a blog!" and that's exactly what I've gone and done.
I suppose this is just a taster to break me in gently, so I should probably start with some kind of slapdash introduction. My name is Kris... or at least it has been since August 2009. Another friend of mine once told me (proving that I do listen to people occasionally) that I don't look like a Dave. My reaction to this was, "Yes I do. I've been Dave all my life and every time I look in a mirror I think to myself, 'That's Dave that is!'" Anywho, she thought I looked more like a Kris with a 'K'. The 'K' is very important. And so, in a completely uncharacteristic act of planned spontaneity, I got on t'internet and changed my name by deed poll.
I was born in Alnwick (you can't get much further north without venturing into Scotland) and, genetically, I'm half Northern (the other half's from Norfolk, but that's not important). I am, therefore, relatively tall and lanky. Amongst fellow Northerners, I blend in quite nicely, however, I have been living in Newmarket in Suffolk (horse racing capital of the country and the home of the celebrated Newmarket sausage) for the past 17 years and feel like Gulliver in the Land of the Jockey!
Well, I think that's enough of an introduction for now (and believe me, I could go on all day if left to my own devices), so I think I'll draw this to a close. I'm going to be auditioning later today for a pantomime, Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood, and so I need to go and make myself all pretty and stuff.
I shall bid you adieu and keep you posted on how I get on. BYE!!!! x
I suppose this is just a taster to break me in gently, so I should probably start with some kind of slapdash introduction. My name is Kris... or at least it has been since August 2009. Another friend of mine once told me (proving that I do listen to people occasionally) that I don't look like a Dave. My reaction to this was, "Yes I do. I've been Dave all my life and every time I look in a mirror I think to myself, 'That's Dave that is!'" Anywho, she thought I looked more like a Kris with a 'K'. The 'K' is very important. And so, in a completely uncharacteristic act of planned spontaneity, I got on t'internet and changed my name by deed poll.
I was born in Alnwick (you can't get much further north without venturing into Scotland) and, genetically, I'm half Northern (the other half's from Norfolk, but that's not important). I am, therefore, relatively tall and lanky. Amongst fellow Northerners, I blend in quite nicely, however, I have been living in Newmarket in Suffolk (horse racing capital of the country and the home of the celebrated Newmarket sausage) for the past 17 years and feel like Gulliver in the Land of the Jockey!
Well, I think that's enough of an introduction for now (and believe me, I could go on all day if left to my own devices), so I think I'll draw this to a close. I'm going to be auditioning later today for a pantomime, Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood, and so I need to go and make myself all pretty and stuff.
I shall bid you adieu and keep you posted on how I get on. BYE!!!! x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)